Some kind of daydream

Today I woke up and had this figurative glue from my back and the bed. That glue also got to my eyes, as it was so hard to pull those lids apart.

I stayed in bed and tried to snooze for another few minutes.

Shit, I have to cook myself breakfast. 
Shit, the dog is crying. 
Shit, there's so much to do at work. 
Shit, I have to work out later because I had a few beers last night.
Shit, that feels like a headache.
Shit, I think I need to have coffee. NOW.

And so at five, four, three, two...I'm standing up.

Everyday was becoming more and more of a routine. I'd drag myself to the kitchen and see what the house help didn't cook for me. I was too polite to order her around so I'd end up doing the kinder-level cooking which I'd eat in a flash because it was neither to good to savor nor too pleasing to look at, so I'd just kill that ugly monster on my plate I call breakfast.
My workload in the office was becoming heavy that I found it difficult to start the day ala-Nescafè .

I stayed up late with friends at the bar to talk about plans, plans, plans...and then what?

Is this what they call growing up? Wake, eat, shower then dress up for work? Zombie driving to the office while listening to mindless jazz music on the radio? Taking the edge off everyday with cocktails to cap off the day?

If this was a Hollywood movie, this is the part where the main character begins to become redundant and the viewer wants to just stop watching because it takes too long to reach an interesting plot twist.

Maybe it's the lack of a crush.

I kind of blurted it out over lunch with colleagues. Out of nowhere, I announced, "I literally don't have a crush right now." Two of my crushes turned me off over the past few days because it's either they said all the wrong things or I've accepted they aren't really interested. Butterflies out, in comes the emotional black hole.

Maybe I'm also lacking a crush towards life? A crush towards every day that comes? Am I no longer looking forward? It's the lack of passion. Maybe that's why this chapter of my life is so fast yet so forgettable.

On my usual weekly stop at the gas station, this lady hands over a raffle ticket which I got from purchasing a certain amount. My eyes lit up as I saw the first prize: a ticket to Universal Studios Singapore.

My Singapore trip suddenly flashed before me bringing in a wave of good vibes. I loved that trip. I loved the feeling of being in a foreign land, in a totally new world. I marveled at all the simple things and ofcourse, the great things I saw in Singapore.

As I drove away, I daydreamed about future holidays. Maybe that's what I need. I overheard on the radio that there were some cheap tickets to Boracay available. I imagined myself alone in the beach, gazing at the afternoon sun. Maybe there's a hint of romance on that vacation. Maybe not. Either way, just maybe. The thought of just maybe is enough.

I reached the office parking lot and sighed as I turned off the engine. I opened the door and bursted back into the routine of my life of just-maybe's. I took one last look at my raffle ticket through the windows before I walked towards the entrance.

Daydreaming helps me get through.